Category: Let's talk
Since there is a great interest in violence against women in Muslim societies generated by the diatribe about stoning in Iran and other Muslim states, I thought it is useful to bring some balance into a discussion that has turned a good topic into a platform for venting out feelings of hatred and thinly veiled racist stereotypes by posting these official statistics about violence against women in the United States. I believe this may help those who showed genuine concern an interest as a result of sincere feelings of compassion to rethink and reflect on the issues, and may realize that these matters are not specific to a particular society or religion, but rather they have more serious social,economic, and political roots. I have no interest in thrusting myself into the middle of hate inspired arguments resulting from the midterm election political rhetoric and racist debates. The numbers speak for themselves.
the following is taken from:
http://www.now.org/issues/violence/stats.html
Despite the fact that advocacy groups like NOW have worked for two decades to halt the epidemic of gender-based violence and sexual assault, the numbers are still shocking. It is time to renew our national pledge, from the President and Congress on down to City Councils all across the nation to END violence against women and men, girls and boys. This effort must also be carried on in workplaces, schools, churches, locker rooms, the military, and in courtrooms, law enforcement, entertainment and the media. NOW pledges to continue our work to end this violence and we hope you will join us in our work.
MURDER
In 2005, 1,181 women were murdered by an intimate partner.
1 That's an average of three women every day. Of all the women murdered in the U.S., about one-third were killed by an intimate partner.
2
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (Intimate Partner Violence or Battering)
Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.
3 According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes every year.
4 Less than 20 percent of battered women sought medical treatment following an injury.
5
SEXUAL VIOLENCE
According to the National Crime Victimization Survey, which includes crimes that were not reported to the police, 232,960 women in the U.S. were raped or sexually assaulted in 2006. That's more than 600 women every day.
6 Other estimates, such as those generated by the FBI, are much lower because they rely on data from law enforcement agencies. A significant number of crimes are never even reported for reasons that include the victim's feeling that nothing can/will be done and the personal nature of the incident.
7
THE TARGETS
Young women, low-income women and some minorities are disproportionately victims of domestic violence and rape. Women ages 20-24 are at greatest risk of nonfatal domestic violence
8, and women age 24 and under suffer from the highest rates of rape.
9 The Justice Department estimates that one in five women will experience rape or attempted rape during their college years, and that less than five percent of these rapes will be reported.
10 Income is also a factor: the poorer the household, the higher the rate of domestic violence -- with women in the lowest income category experiencing more than six times the rate of nonfatal intimate partner violence as compared to women in the highest income category.
11 When we consider race, we see that African-American women face higher rates of domestic violence than white women, and American-Indian women are victimized at a rate more than double that of women of other races.
12
IMPACT ON CHILDREN
According to the Family Violence Prevention Fund, "growing up in a violent home may be a terrifying and traumatic experience that can affect every aspect of a child's life, growth and development. . . . children who have been exposed to family violence suffer symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, such as bed-wetting or nightmares, and were at greater risk than their peers of having allergies, asthma, gastrointestinal problems, headaches and flu." In addition, women who experience physical abuse as children are at a greater risk of victimization as adults, and men have a far greater (more than double) likelihood of perpetrating abuse.
13
IMPACT ON HEALTH AND SOCIAL SERVICES
The Centers for Disease Control estimates that the cost of domestic violence in 2003 was more than over $8.3 billion. This cost includes medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity.
14
LEGISLATION
In 1994, the National Organization for Women, the NOW Legal Defense and Education Fund (now called Legal Momentum), the Feminist Majority and other organizations finally secured passage of the Violence Against Women Act, which provided a record-breaking $1.6 billion to address issues of violence against women.
15 However it took nearly an additional year to force the Newt Gingrich-led Congress to release the funding. An analysis estimated that in the first six years after VAWA was passed, nearly $14.8 billion was saved in net averted social costs.
16 VAWA was reauthorized in 2005, with nearly $4 billion in funding over five years.
17
VIOLENCE BETWEEN SAME-SEX COUPLES
According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, "domestic violence affecting LGBT individuals continues to be grossly underreported . . . there is a lack of awareness and denial about the existence of this type of violence and its impact, both by LGBT people and non-LGBT people alike."
18
Myths regarding gender roles perpetuate the silence surrounding these abusive relationships; for example, the belief that there aren't abusive lesbian relationships because women don't abuse each other. Shelters are often unequipped to handle the needs of lesbians (as a women-only shelter isn't much defense against a female abuser), and transgendered individuals. Statistics regarding domestic violence against LGBT people are unavailable at the national level, but as regional studies demonstrate, domestic violence is as much as a problem within LGBT communities as it is among heterosexual ones.
The fact is that Muslim and non Muslim men are violent towards women and others, as are Muslim and non Muslim governments. Who ever is violently attacking people is in the wrong, regardless of their religion.
Does anybody disagree with the facts stated in the above paragraph of this post?
It's shocking, I'll admit, but I'm not questioning their credibility at this point. However, I think everyone, regardless of age, status, and gender is at risk for violence. Some women are violent as well, and I don't think it's fair to deny that. I'm not saying you are. I'm just bringing up that women are violent towards men as well, men are violent towards other men, and women are violent towards other women. I definitely agree with what the mentor groups are doing for young men and women. One of the first steps towards avoiding violence, especially in a domestic relationship, is to be able to spot the signs.
I totally agree with Seenior. Your paragraph is one hundred percent valid in my opinion, and I assume in the opinion of most reasonable people.
For you Ocean Dream. On the URL I cited in the beginning of the posting. the National Organization of Women has links to all the sources they used. Most of these sources are official American government sources. You can check them yourself.
While I will admit there are violent women, the number of crimes against men is much lower than those against women.
My mother was the constant victim of domestic violence while she was with my father, and even I don't understand what went through her mind as she forgave him again and again for whatever he had done to her.
The only thing that I can suggest is that the women who are most often victims are the ones with very low self esteem and who may have experienced similar events with their own parents, who may be extremely adicted to drugs or alcohol. also women who are very used to doing what they are told by other people. And the thing is, is that once it starts, it's a cycle that is very difficult for women to get out of.
my mother, and people who were in her situation suffered from manipulation and threats of more violence, financial destitution, stealing of children, or even murder.
Women like those I have described are also easily manipulated into believing that it's their own fault, and that they deserve little better.
Not to mention that not all that long ago, domestic violence wasn't taken seriously, and many women who might want to call the police might be weighing up the possibility of having their complaints not taken seriously by the police against the possibility of her partner commiting more violence if she talks.
I totally agree with your post senior, however cris has a very good point by posting this.
violence doesn't just happen in far away countries that you can all safely dislike and say it's all about culture. domestic violence is pretty much all about culture too. men used to have all kinds of rights over women, and not that long ago was it not considered a crime to rape ones wife.
middle eastern cultures are not the only ones who commit violence against women. look a little closer to home.
Thanks Loui. It seems you are the only one who understood the purpose behind my original posting. As I mentioned in the introduction, I was hoping that these statistics would take race and religion out of the discussion of potentially good topics. In a way, I was reacting to some racist views which went as far as to making analogies between Muslim Americans and Nazis, although not a single Muslim American has been implicated with the events of September 11. Every single one of the perpetrators of September 11 attacks was a foreigner, who happened to be a Muslim. Fifteen of those came from Saudi Arabia, One from the United Arab Emirates, One was a German of Egyptian origin, One came from Lebanon, and I forgot the national identity of the last one.
Unfortunately These topics were hijacked by few racists and were turned into platforms for spouting out whatever racist sound bites they could find to make their racist arguments against Muslims. I admit I failed. I do not think that racists would be interested in discussing the substance of any of these topics. If they do they would lose the argument. Therefore they opt for capitalizing on fear, xenophobia, and hatred to justify their positions. It is for this reason they continuously dig in the archives to find a sensationalized act of Muslim murder or cruelty and throw it into the discussion, regardless of whether it is relevant to the topics being discussed or not.
Since someone consistently insists on Muslim bashing, and since she insists on bashing Muslims in Europe because there are some reported cases of some families
sending their daughters back to their original countries for forced marriage, I will add this piece of statistics.
According to the CIA estimate for the year 2000, more than fifty thousand women andchildren are trafficked into the United states each year for sexual exploitation.
This number is probably way higher now than it was in the year 2000.
This is not to suggest that Muslims are angels, or that there are no few muslims who engage in aranged marriages for their sons and daughters, but only to expose the purposes behind insisting on making race and religion as the central points of the discussion. It is hillarious that one person took the race argument a step further by suggesting that Imigration laws in the United States must be changed to reduce the numbers of immigrants from the "third world" and increasing the quota for the "first". I do not know what would qualify for First World, other than Mostly white european and Australian. Let's throw in Japan on top. She is proposing that fifteen percent of the world population be given a quota of fifty percent of imigration rights, and the 85 percent of what she deemed as third world be given only fifty percent. This argument is as old as the United states itself. It resurfaced lately because many white supremacists are afraid that the colored population may take over, at least numerically, in the next 20 years or so.
Happyman, I said in my post that I'm not questioning the credibility of your sources, just that they were shocking.
Indeed, women are forceably moved to western countries from thailand, indonesia and even eastern europe.
personally I find the mail order brides just as disgraceful as arranged marriages. but what you also need to understand is that many muslam women actually want to marry in this way. Not to mention that in most muslam countries this is not done at all, merely the parents will make sure that their daughters meet someone simple by arrangement with other parents, but they will not force the marriage, just encourage it.
I would love to see statistics showing whether the perps are generally zealots of one form or another: religious or otherwise. Zealotry gives people license to behave in ways they would otherwise not. And reactionism such as modern chauvinism or even the man-bashers license behaviors that would otherwise be not licensed.
I sound like a damned broken record, I know, but the real problem is zeal unrestrained. Zeal unrestrained = a monster truck run on jet fuel barging around a traditional Japanese village made of rice-paper houses.
Too often women's groups have taken on men as a group, including young boys when I was a kid in the seventies. Wrong. But zeal, whether it's men or women, when unrestrained is the monster truck in a village made up of rice-paper buildings.
you know what, most people I've met who have experienced domestic violence are not religious.
they are just people who want their own way and know that their partner will give in if they threaten or beat them a little.
domestic violence usually isn't about religion, it's about control.
Let's face it, we see battered men as well as women but most men are to proud to admit any such thing as getting beat by a wife or girlfriend.
men are too proud women are too scared. but like I said, battered women are a lot more than battered men.
Not necessarily to scared. My brother's ex assaulted him...hit him hard enough for him to bruise. She was charged, but the stupid judge laughed it out of court, and then the ex went to her mother's county and charged my brother with domestic violence, and he had a hell of a time getting out of it...And another thing that crosses my mind...believe me I do not hate any religious group, all must choose their own path...But, how many of our statistics are lies? I mean, look at it this way, for those of you who have read my post of "Women!" you know that an ex-best friend of mine has falsely accused her ex-bf of abuse. I know it is false because I was present when it supposedly happened. So, how many are pulling her number and lying about their own abuse? And, this question goes no matter the religion, race, background and/or social class.
I would actually guess not that many. these sorts of statistics are based on all kinds of results, including, I would expect, numbers of women forced out of their homes due to it and who live in shelters for women who have experienced this. trained professionals can usually spot a lie when they see it.
I have met several women in my line of volunteer work, and several children as well and in my opinion, absolutely none of them are lying, especially since they now have extreme mental health issues.
I'm sure most of these women are not lying. I just don't want to ignore that men get abused too, both by women, and by other men. They just seem more likely to report it, or in some cases, just not to let it bother them. There are some women who love to cut their ex boyfriend's ego down. I've witnessed that, and it's sad. It's just not quite as common as the contrary. I'm sure that in other countries, with the cultural differences, and with men and woman not being equal, the abuse is almost always towards women, but the title of this topic is "Violence Against Women in the United States".
Swiss, I would like to see the numbers because I have a feeling that you are grosely exagerating. We hear about more cases of men beating women but that means nothing in the long run.
I would like to add that when my mother, (a holder of a bsw and over 20 years in the field of mentally/physically challenged individuals and work at a local Women's Crisis Center), heard me say that my supposed "best friend" got up there in front of the judge and cried. Her response was, "that is what they do, ""I am afraid of him, he will kill me"" all the time crocodile tears running down their cheeks, you do not know how many times I have seen it..." That may be jaded, but coming from a woman who was abused and that is why she got into the field in the first place...People lie today if they want. That is the facts. I am by no means downplaying that abuse happens every damn day. I know, I survived it as a child, but people lie!!! And, it is damn easy to lie on those stupid surveys, and today, even easier to report it to the cops considdering that same supposed "best friend" went to the cops with bruises, (from moving and probably wrestling with her sons), and they took her word over his and the three witnesses he had. Hell, they took it so much that he has to go to court over the issue. Not just a slap on the wrist, but facing up to five years! Just because she was pissed and said, "he beat me...I am afraid of him..."
I'll add something:
Now, I'm sorry, but even psychology tells us that people will worm their way out of any situation and men do it but women are far better at it. Why? Well, it is emotional intelligence, that's why. Oh yes, give that sob story.
yes,women are treated rottenly. this goes without saying. however, i think that it's in general a whole lot to do with the dehumanization of our society. many popular genres of music objectify women. we have a high high rate of gang relatve activity where i live. these thugs are equal opportunity attackers. if you are perceived as weak you will be hit.
Muslim bashing? By pointing out bad behavior? O K...
I see a lot of the reverse in the Muslim community behaving this way where I live. They try to justify their own bad record by saying, "Look at what you Americans do...". Look, Happyman, I don't know if any American fathers who pummel their daughters with a fist because of her choice of clothing, but if you watch the news there is an Ohio girl from a Muslim family in a foster home in Florida because she fears her father and brother will kill her for converting to Christianity. This idiot sperm donor allowed his daughter to go out for cheerleading...where little clothing is worn...yet pummeled her with his fist because she didn't want to wear a head scarf. Kind of like going to a Chinese restaurant and getting mad because there aren't any frijoles on your plate. Also I know of not one black American who has subjected his daughter to a clitoridectomy, yet this is common practice in subsaharan Africa among Muslims.
And for the record, I could care less what races are or aren't having more kids in this country. Believe it or not, some countries in regions like Central/South America are relatively stable to qualify as first world countries. So do much of the Far East...Hong Kong, Singapore, Japan, South Korea...If you want to get technical about it, my daughter is racially mixed of North African parentage. However, even her father will say that it is many groups of immigrants who are ruining our part of the United States. He can't stand going into some of their businesses to watch English speakers, for example, refused service and Arabic speakers given the red carpet treatment, and he should know since he speaks Arabic. If Muslims want to be considered a credible force in the world, they should act like one.
hey, try getting in a taxi with a guide dog and a muslem taxi driver. I've herd every excuse there is from allergies to against there religion to allow a dog in the car. hate dogs and beat women I wonder if they like apple pie?
Oo ca noot bring da doog
for the record the mutilation of women in sub saharan africa harkens back to tribal traditions and has nothing to do with islam. these are the same people in africa who believe that blind people have no souls because they can't see god. again something that goes back to bliefs before islam came around. many moslems are well educated and thoughtful people. my neighborhood has a lot of them. it's just the lunatic fringe that gives them a bad name. come on people. for the record i have had no trouble with guide dogs and cabs yet. neither has my daughter. the moslems we live with say "she's a guide dog. she's a working dog. that is wonderful. it's the pets we object too."
Turricane, if Mr. Sponge would consent to moving, believe me we'd be out of here. I'm glad you have courteous, thoughtful Muslims in your neighborhood because the ones who settle here deface everything from childrens' library books to writing one of the 99 names of Allah on a synagogue wall, yet they get mad if they even sense someone thinks ill of them.
And I'm curious why, instead of renouncing some of these tribal customs as abhorrent, as the Israelites condemned literally boiling a kid in front of its mother, hence the separation by Orthodox Jews of meats from dairy, the Muslims just absorbed them? Honor killings also harken back to tribal customs, why not write them off as a disgusting primitive ideology & put a stop to them? Unfortunately, ignorance & other influence abound in some of these societies. For example the Qu'ran has clearly condemned societies that kill their children, and vs after vs condemns those who steal from the needy, and yet some of the ones I know from socialist countries do just this because they didn't have to pay for stuff like medicine in the socialist country. I admire courageous women like Wafa Sultan & Irshad Manji who call for reform of bad behavior on the part of Muslims, and these are women who grew up Muslim.
The same goes for the Bible-bumping hard core conservatives who still believe in justifiable homicide. Why not evolve?
i agree with the poster above. lets evolve. regardless of tribal, cultural, or other practices. violence against anyone is just not right! i dont care what their religious justifications are. what their skin tone. if they kneel to pray or send money to some person on television. its. wrong.the thing which burns me is the acceptance of viloence against women in some cultures. the lack of judicial oversight. the fact the majority of the perps go free without any jail time. in some cases they are praised. this is what i find unacceptable. i dont think anyone can deny this fact. not one of you can stand up and defend a mans right to kill his daughter, wife or sister because of religious overtures. if you think a man has a right to kill a women because she is not a virgin, or doesnt want to wear this clothing item or any such offens then perhaps youare the one who needs to be killed!
For a little bit of balance, and since there are stats about same sex violence by the original poster, a source I believe is British, a magazine called THE ECONOMIST, ran an article on gay & lesbian rights in developing countries some weeks ago.
Some of the countries featured are Muslim majority countries and regions, like northern Nigeria. Some of these countries...oh boy....like Iran, offer accross the board death sentences for both gay males and lesbians. I personally know a Muslim from Egypt, and he was shocked when he and his American wife went to a town in Massachusetts colloquially called "P town". This fishing town is also a haven for gay males in particular, and he was shocked to see men in high heeled shoes and lipstick. Apparently in Egypt if you are male & caught doing this, you will be jailed.
In other Muslim countries and regions of countries, gay males are executed. Gay females are cut slack...if you can call it that...thru flogging. In newly governed Iraq, lesbians are shamed publicly, even raped for daring to love other women.
In non Muslim majority Uganda, there is pending legislation that could involve capital punishment for those convicted of homosexual sodomy and possible imprisonment for families who shelter a member they know is gay or lesbian. One of the countries featured, I believe a small island called "Mauritius" off the coast of Africa, featured women lucky enough to be able to hold hands in public & display a sign saying "Ma vie, mon choix", or "My life, my choice".
Now I've always liked guys, but if I was attracted to women I'd choose to live in the good ol' USA anytime. Even southerners who are open in their dislike of lesbians and gays are preferable to state sponsored mistreatment in the third world.
Also I have dealt with Asian Muslims, and for the most part they integrate into American society & don't rub my nose in what they perceive as the superiority of life in countries like India & Pakistan, but I have met so many other Muslim immigrants that, no matter what you have or don't have to offer here, they can always do better back home. Why, if they hate the U S, do so many of them want to settle here?
You know what I wonder?
When they do go back home, do they say how much better it was here? Are they always complaining? What you are describing sounds like a pack of complainers, probably get to sounding like a pack of baying hounds after awhile ...
Funny you should ask that, Leo. I used to post on www.cafemom.com, and it's sheer idiocy, that's why I no longer go there.
I used to post on the Muslim moms' board. Generally these were U S born women married to men from Arab countries. One had a Syrian born husband who, when he was here, longed for the closer family relations of Syria, yet when he went to visit there, would complain about how he missed being with his wife in the U S & how everyone was "in his business" in Syria. And much as these folks toot their own horns about how "family oriented" and "child oriented" they are compared to us westerners, one woman cited her childrens' Egyptian grandmother whose idea of care was to shoe the kids while she was watching her t v programs.
The north Africans I know are complainers. One, who was not a complainer & would have been a good citizen had he been allowed to stay, is unemployed (common situation among males in these countries, #1 for unemployment Iran, #2 Algeria). He was looking to marry a French woman just to get out of there. It is so the life of luxury there we were bringing him basics like dental floss. One conceited young woman, when I spoke of things being harder there with small children, remarked "Kids in the U S are spoiled. When you have less to make do with there, you're more grateful for what you have." (Expletive) this conceited so and so, I was not talking about the latest techie toys or being able to indulge a kid's every whim and caprice, I was talking about a playground separate from the street & Pedialyte, something a child will actually drink to prevent dehydration from g i symptoms rather than the Alka Seltzer like potion available there.
As to whether they are always complaining, that depends on where home is. I've noticed Muslims from Arab majority nations are the biggest complainers, while those from non Arab countries, but especially the Asians, complain little. In a sense, they do complain once they go back home & say how much better it was here. One guy married in his native country, citing "How difficult it is to raise a family HERE", yet brought his wife & kids here to raise.
And speaking of same sex abuse in the original post, I have noticed Muslims as a rule are very behind when it comes to HIV/AIDS knowledge compared to the rest of us. The same conceited young woman who complained about kids here, when I mentioned even being stuck with HIV positive Haitians up here, asked me seriously "Isn't that a gay disease?" ?!?!?! HIV reared its ugly head over 20 years ago. How are women getting it, children being born with it, if it's a "gay disease"?! One Egyptian wondered what the big deal was when his American wife was very upset after accidentally stepping on his cousin's insulin needle, and this was not a clean living cousin. People have died getting it from blood transfusions. Wake up, people, gay male sex is A way to get HIV, not THE ONLY way.
And these are not countries where you can do the Magic Johnson and admit in public you're HIV positive. We have access to Canal Algerie, the main channel in this north African country. I can understand the French, but not Arabic, broadcasts. Any HIV+ story, the faces of the suffering are blocked, and they never admit how they got it, usually women, and I suspect they got it thru prostitution out of economic desperation.
In non Muslim majority South Africa, a woman was stoned to death in the '90's for admitting she was a "lesbian who thought she would try a man once" and contracted HIV. Again, I'll take the U S and its record any old day.